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Thank you for addressing it as a mental illness and not some personality flaw that I should leave him for. I think managing symptoms or of the issue physical pain drinking emotional distress would help. But I what would like to know.
I'm not trying to jump on the alcoholism train and know it is a response to ptsd but it is hard to sit and watch so please don't assume I just "sit around and say what can I substitute alcohol with". His doctor suggested trying to remove alcohol from the equation because it has a negative effect on pain and sleep disorders he is also dealing with. Like the title says open minded text me and will go from there.
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The two of you should discuss this before you commit to being "together forever". I can understand that in the beginning of a new relationship, a single parent guard their and put them first at all times. However, if a serious commitment to a LTR is made by serious commitment I mean marriage or cohabitationyour primary relationship should be with your SO, and your should come in second.
This does not diminish the role of either parent to nurture, protect, and care for the both sets. In fact, you both need to take an active role in nurturing all of your. Understanding this, it is unhealthy to establish your LTR as "coming in second".
Discuss ways that you can "put each other first" and establish some time and space for yourselves. Remember that after the are grown and gone, you still have each other.
Foreseeing this can help to establish a, not clingy parental relationship with your, and put your adult relationships into perspective. It might help though if you acknowledge that sometimes the have needs that can't really wait. Maybe you can lend a hand when the need arises, in exchange for some special "us time" occasionally. If the situation devolves into resentment over the, it probably won't work in the run.
It's best to communicate your feelings, and compromise when necessary.
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